If 'The Music Man's' Mother Had Facebook

 If 'The Music Man's' mother had Facebook,

She might've written about

the rows and rows

of marching band uniforms

lined up on dress racks

at the start of the school year;

and the concert tuxedos

for orchestra and band both

and the industrial-strength suspenders

and the snaps

that hold those pants in place.

And of the fitting process

and the unfamiliar sizing

and the, 'yes, it looks okay

with the arms at the side,

but put your arms up

like you're actually playing

your trombone

your viola

your cello

your tuba

your flute

oh yes, definitely

you'll want a bit more

freedom to really move.'

And a conversation about

the relative merits

of marching uniforms

that zip up the back

or button up the front;

back zippers require

someone to 'have your back,'

but they sure look snappy

And when you are in orchestra or band

you have two more years of practice

wearing tuxedos for prom

than anyone else at school

And of how the gowns are kind of convenient

because they don't get quite as overheated

under the lights during the concert

And then over to the table

for the shoes

And the gloves

(gloves are for

the marching band,

not the orchestra,

because that might be

rather difficult on strings)

And with reminders to go find

a white, button-down shirt

and black socks

to go with the tuxedo

before the first concert, please

And the small army of mothers

who keep everything organized,

tagged, labeled, noted, listed,

bringing order to chaos

with remarkable efficiency

and grace and humor

for managing

teens at the end of summer break

before the first school bell has rung

and the amazement of mothers

being newly initiated

to the process.

--

(c) 2024. Le Anne Clausen de Montes has a 9th grade Orchestra student at Mason City High School in Mason City, IA, home of 'The Music Man.' Their family also includes a 7th grade trombonist, a 6th grade cellist/ string bassist, and a 3rd grader biding her time with a ukelele. She is also a co-Admin of the Mason City Musicians Facebook group, and composes church, protest, and choral music at New Songs for Peacemakers. May be shared and reprinted with attribution to the author and link to original post.

Recent Ridiculousness, Right Here In River City...

 To briefly recap some recent ridiculousness, right here in River City, from the usual suspects:

1. 'We cannot possibly start any new projects to improve the city until the potholes are fixed, every last pothole, and there are no new potholes, forever. Only Mason City has potholes, and they keep having new potholes every year, and it is surely because we have bad leaders. All money for projects, even grant money, must be some taxpayer's money somewhere, and it would be better spent on fixing potholes, even if it's not legal to re-appropriate it for fixing potholes. Also: nobody ever does anything new or interesting around here. Our city leaders should definitely start some new projects or something interesting. I don't know why they don't try that. Just don't use any taxpayer or grant money to do it though.'

2. 'There are not enough high school marching bands in the Band Festival anymore. Surely this is because high schoolers Just Do Not Care, and not because the fifty school districts within driving distance fifty years ago have consolidated down to a fraction of that since the farm crisis. There are definitely more towns with high school bands in Minnesota. This definitely has nothing to do with the massive public education cuts made by the Iowa State legislature. It is definitely the fault of the local 'woke' school board. Also the local high school marching band can't possibly sound as good as it used to when it was under the Old Mascot.'

3. 'The local school board is full of 'Social Justice Warriors' who clearly hate teachers and that is why there's not an agreement on the teacher contract. The book-banning White Nationalist school board candidates who liked the Old Mascot and attacked trans students and hate immigrant students would definitely have given the teachers a better contract.'

4. 'There were never, ever, ever any Immigrant people who did not speak English in this town before. They all just showed up yesterday. My grandparents and great-grandparents spoke perfect English and never had to learn a new language when they got here five generations ago from [insert country]. The teachers back then never had to deal with immigrant children like they do now. No, don't show me any of your 'woke' historical photos or news clippings or the local cemetery or church records. Can't see how any of that would be relevant to this discussion.'

5. 'There aren't enough floats in the Band Festival. There need to be more floats. Why aren't there more floats? Also the parade is over two hours long. That's too much....'

(For the record, the Band Festival was one of the best in recent memory, and we had perfect weather for it Saturday. The bands were all amazing, especially our local band, and each high school band had an impressive number of kids participating given the size of their school districts. And there were at least 20 different languages being spoken in our local school district a century ago, many of them European and Eastern European, but also from around the world, due to our local industries).